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  • 70’s Isis Star Claims She’s Not A Terrorist | Mon, 24 Sep 2018 16:43:15 UTC

    Pittsburgh, PA - (

    Joanna Cameron, star of the mid-1970’s Saturday morning television series Isis, claims that she is not in any way affiliated with the terrorist group ISIS (called ISIL by some Democrats to show support for and pander to Syria).

  • F.D.A. To Fund Study To Discover The Way The Cookie Crumbles | Mon, 24 Sep 2018 16:41:01 UTC

    Palo Alto, CA – (

    “That’s the way the cookie crumbles” is an expression that has been around since the 1920’s. The exact origin of the phrase is unknown, but it is used as another way to say “that’s life.” Researchers at Stanford University have received a three billion dollar grant from the Food and Drug Administration to determine the exact way that the cookie does crumble.

  • Ben & Jerry’s Founders Creating Democrat-Inspired Ice Cream Flavors to ‘Take Back Congress’ | Sun, 23 Sep 2018 22:22:33 UTC

    Concord, NH – (

    The duo behind Ben & Jerry’s ice cream is hoping to “take back Congress” by creating Democrat-inspired flavors.
    Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield are teaming up with social justice organization MoveOn to create a contest to support seven progressive candidates ahead of the midterm elections.

  • (Useless) Tips for Achieving Financial Independence and Early Retirement | Sun, 23 Sep 2018 20:36:54 UTC

    In order to achieve FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early) experts advise an individual's net assets should equal at least twenty-five times their annual cost of living. The following are some (not) useful tips for reaching this goal

  • Scientists Reveal Universe Actually Shaped Like iPhone 7s | Sun, 23 Sep 2018 08:14:48 UTC

    “We were as surprised an anyone,” said the lead technician on the project, Professor Luken Balden. “But the universe is, in fact, exactly shaped like this popular American cellular phone. Go figure!"

  • Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque To Compete in LPGA Tour | Sat, 22 Sep 2018 15:42:02 UTC

    Stockholm, Sweden – (

    Swedish Olympic Athlete Ivana Phuque, who has won speed skating medals in the Winter Olympics and pole vaulting medals in the Summer Olympics, has decided to expand her activities to include golf. She will compete in the 2019 LPGA tour.

  • Dracula’s Castle For Sale in Transylvania | Fri, 21 Sep 2018 17:25:09 UTC

    Transylvania,Romania – (

    The famous Dracula’s Castle, the Transylvania landmark once home of Vlad the Impaler and also known as Bran Castle, is up for sale in Romania. The sale price is estimated to be about $150 million in U.S. dollars.
    While the castle has little indoor plumbing (except public bathrooms in the tourist areas), it does offer the following amenities:

  • President Obama’s New Slogan, I Can Hear You Now | Fri, 21 Sep 2018 17:22:33 UTC

    Washington DC –
    A UK newspaper reports that the Obama administration, via the National Security Agency (NSA), has been collecting the phone records of millions of Verizon customers each day under a top secret court order.

  • Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum, Will You Give My “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” Spec a Read? | Fri, 21 Sep 2018 00:24:05 UTC

    You’re talking to the guy who read a few passages from Aristotle’s “Poetics,” but also read the Wikipedia summary several times.

  • Weight Loss Hypnosis for Free, if that’s the Sort of Humbug you’re into | Fri, 21 Sep 2018 00:24:05 UTC

    Listen to these smooth, dulcid tones and before you know it you’ll be thinner, cuter, and more attractive, even if just to yourself… yeah, it’s mostly yourself. That’s okay too. Tell us in the comments what you’d like us to…Read more Weight Loss Hypnosis for Free, if that’s the Sort of Humbug you’re into ›

  • BBC announces spin -off series for the Bodyguard | Fri, 21 Sep 2018 00:23:56 UTC

    The BBC, taken by surprise by a production that people actually want to watch, have produced a list of spin off productions to be screened over the next twelve months.   The Oddie-Guard – a world renowned ornithologist protecting birds on a three seater bicycle.  Nobody knows why the birds are on a bycicle. The...

  • Top 10 Reasons Trump Will Never Step Down | Fri, 21 Sep 2018 00:23:53 UTC

    By September of 2018, Trump’s even more frantic and reckless as his allies are falling one by one to Mueller, or were fired, or fled of their own volition. The Republicans may well be sacrificing their party on the long term for their loyalty to this dangerous clown. Trump will likely destroy the GOP as more young people register to vote and join the resistance.…

  • Ripping the Headlines Today, 9/18/18 | Fri, 21 Sep 2018 00:23:50 UTC

    by Paul Lander.<br />Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft&#160;is for. And, as in the case with anything ... Read moreRipping the Headlines Today, 9/18/18<br />Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes &amp; Noble and other stores all over the U.S.<br /> <br />

  • Ronco and The Franklin Mint Combine with Democratic Party on Commemorative Plate Set | Wed, 19 Sep 2018 16:07:50 UTC

    New York City, NY (

    As a fund raiser for the 2020 Presidential Election, the Democratic Party has contracted with Ronco and The Franklin Mint to release a series of commemorative plates. They will include such famous party individuals as Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, and others.

  • Clarence Thomas Returns To Senate As White Man Named Brett | Wed, 19 Sep 2018 07:44:47 UTC

    In an impromptu visit surprising the Judiciary Committee that recommended his confirmation 27 years ago, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas stopped by the US Senate this week to reminisce with the legislative branch about his hearing way back in the day.

  • My Husband Les Moonvez Gave Us Young Sheldon, And That's Good Enough for Me! By: Julie Chen | Wed, 19 Sep 2018 07:11:15 UTC

    A lot of bad things have been said about my husband Les Moonvez in the press lately. That he's a sexual predator. That he's a creep. That he exploited his position as Chairman and CEO of CBS to coerce women to submit to his crude sexual advances.

  • Emergency Room Admissions To Soar On Trump’s FEMA Text Alert Trial | Tue, 18 Sep 2018 04:29:24 UTC

    New York, NY – (

    Thursday’s debut of the Presidential Alert of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System hit a bum note today with proctologists warning of ‘potentially dire consequences’ as telecoms providers promised to crank up cell phone tones and vibration functions ahead of the anticipated trial.

  • Maxine Waters Fails Hearing Test | You make the news...We report it! | Sun, 16 Sep 2018 21:29:52 UTC

    Los Angeles, CA - (
    California Democrat Maxine Waters became flustered at a recent rally where she called for ‘impeachment’ but couldn’t hear her own words. Afterward, close confidants and aides suggested that the 78 year old congresswoman get her hearing tested.

  • Oh no! Elon Musk went on a heroin user's podcast and shot himself full of junk | Sun, 16 Sep 2018 15:46:11 UTC

    Musk claimed to have never tried heroin before but he took to it like a duck to water or a Scotsman to heroin.

  • Donald Trump Claims He’s Found Obama’s ‘Lost Birth Certificate’ | Sat, 15 Sep 2018 17:13:46 UTC

    New York, NY – (

    Score one for The Donald !

    After months of frenzied investigations and a bevy of expensive private eyes shuttling across three continents, billionaire Donald Trump claims he’s found Barack Obama’s real birth certificate and the results are not all that pretty.

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