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  • Killer Drillers

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 13 Sep 2018 06:09:21 +0000

    What is Drill Rap? Is it a new power tool based youth craze, or a sinister military parade inspired dance movement? UK media commentators ridiculed for ignorance of musical genre they are blaming for current wave of London youth violence.

  • In the Public Interest?

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 06 Sep 2018 06:17:36 +0000

    “Honestly your Honour, I was acting in the best interests of the local community when I burned down my eighty five year old neighbour’s garden shed. I had very reliable information from a bloke down the pub that he was actually running a drug factory from there..."

  • I Fought Hitler’s Ghost

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 30 Aug 2018 06:01:30 +0000

    London man claims he was assaulted by Hitler's ghost following his steamy affair with the spirit of Eva Braun. Charged with affray following ferocious battle in high Street with phantom Fuhrer.

  • Universal Hate

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 23 Aug 2018 05:31:18 +0000

    Government announces introduction of new ‘Universal Hate’ policy, under which all existing forms of hate crime, regardless of whether it is racial, religious or gender based, will be amalgamated into one single type of hate. Ministers hope new system will simplify process of hate crime for perpetrators, victims and police.

  • Amazon Crime

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 09 Aug 2018 05:24:58 +0000

    Amazon denies allegations of involvement in the recent drone attack on Venezuela’s President Maduro. Conspiracy theorists claims that internet giant offering drone delivery of bombs for terrorists dismissed as 'ludicrous' and 'unfounded'. Existence of 'Amazon Crime' division denied.

  • Hard Remain

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 02 Aug 2018 06:02:06 +0000

    Anti Brexit group proposes 'Hard Remain'as alternative to 'Hard Brexit'. In event of winning second referendum, Remain Forever movement will demand UK join Eurozone, Schengen Area and open borders to mass immigration. Also claims UK must pay more for privilege of EU membership.

  • Night Caller

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 26 Jul 2018 05:43:27 +0000

    Who or what are behind Radio Midnight, the mysterious phone in radio station which has allegedly been terrorising unsuspecting Britons in dead of night? Up and down the country there have been reports of phones ringing during the witching hour, with anyone answering them finding themselves confronted by the so called ‘Night Caller’, who claims to be from Radio Midnight. The deep voiced mystery man then proceeds to probe them on the most intimate aspects of their lives, claiming that the conversation is being broadcast to the nation on Radio Midnight.

  • Is Meat Murder?

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 19 Jul 2018 05:27:05 +0000

    Militant vegans eaten by lions as they shout 'Meat is Murder' at big cats. Anti carnivore group affirms ambition to 'convert' predatory animals to vegetarianism. RSPCA brands 'carnivore conversion' programme 'animal cruelty' as allegedly successful subjects die of malnutrition.

  • Never Say Novichok Again

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 12 Jul 2018 06:23:50 +0000

    Is latest Novichok attack further evidence that UK government being held to ransom by international crime syndicate? Or is Boris Johnson the criminal 'mastermind' behind plot to blackmail Prime Minister into implementing 'Hard Brexit'?

  • The Queen is Dead, Hurrah!

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 05 Jul 2018 06:21:58 +0000

    So, I was reading the other day as to how when the Queen finally shuffles off this mortal coil, we'll get two extra bank holidays: one for the funeral, one for the coronation of her successor. Which means that we'll have to hope that she pops her clogs during the Summer so that we'll have the best chance of being able to fully enjoy these extra days off...

  • Taking Back the Streets

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 28 Jun 2018 06:17:10 +0000

    Man startled by 'living statue' vows to 'take back the streets from the street entertainers', Claims that public spaces increasingly cluttered by presence of untalented and intimidating street 'performers'. War declared on jugglers, buskers, living statues and other 'performers' of no artistic merit.

  • Postmark Evil (1998)

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 14 Jun 2018 06:22:54 +0000

    Shot on the streets of Smethwick, Postmark Evil is an insane mix of horror and crime featuring an apparently demonic postman searching for a stolen artefact possessed of evil powers. Made on a miniscule budget, it is part of a cycle of direct-to-video exploitation releases produced by and starring Reg Smedley, all filmed in the West Midlands.

  • Match Made in Heaven?

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 07 Jun 2018 05:25:19 +0000

    Match Made in Heaven? Top tabloid announces plans to create own celebrity couple, with exclusive rights to stream entire relationship, reality TV-style. Every significant event, from first intercourse to eventual spectacular break up will be available to subscribers.

  • Marriage of Inconvenience

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 31 May 2018 05:53:07 +0000

    Despite recent Royal Wedding boosting popularity of matrimony in the UK, growing numbers of single people continue to believe in inconvenience of marriage. Consequently, wedding-themed magazine proposes self-marriage service allowing singles to walk down the aisle with themselves.

  • I Shagged Hitler’s Brains Out

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 24 May 2018 05:46:44 +0000

    Is new exploitation movie 'I Shagged Hitler's Brains Out' pursuing a feminist agenda by depicting Hitler as a woman, or is it just a crude piece of misogyny, seeking to undermine the ‘#metoo’ movement?

  • Right and Wrong

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 10 May 2018 05:40:06 +0000

    Top academic blasts 'right wing cry babies' for over sensitivity to issues such as race, gender and equality. Argues the 'right and wrong' need to grow up and stop whining on social media about 'unfairness' of having their privilege threatened by minorities.

  • Not From the Future

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 03 May 2018 06:08:33 +0000

    Time travelling frauds and flat earth idiots - why does our media continue to promote these crackpots? Should we be happy to allow the mentally ill to be exploited by the press? After all, it isn't fair on them, it certainly isn't fair on readers to continually be served up their fantasies rather than real news.

  • Hostile Environment

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 26 Apr 2018 06:12:42 +0000

    Did government outsource 'Hostile Environment policy for illegal immigrants to extreme right wing groups? Allegations that neo-Nazis employed by Home Office to intimidate alleged illegals with burning crosses and racist attacks.

  • From Russia, With Ineptitude

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 12 Apr 2018 06:18:26 +0000

    Russia's President Putin has condemned those who attempted to assassinate former Russian spy Sergei Skirpal and his daughter, saying that they had been told to make it look like suicide. Claims that policy of out-sourcing assassinations in post-communist Russia has resulted in embarrassing ineptitude that threatens Russia's standing in world of political killings.

  • Ancient Idiots?

    thesleaze.co.uk | Thu, 05 Apr 2018 06:37:36 +0000

    Is the mysterious codex of the Fifteenth Century Voynich Manuscript just gibberish? New TV series claims document, at best, semi-pornographic doodlings of bored medieval student. Further alleges that ancient Mayan art produced under influence of powerful hallucinogens rather than representing alien visitors.

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